Think About This...

There is no after
There is just the next now
And the now that follows
The previous now.

Sunday, March 29, 2009


I heart Sunday. All of them. All you need for a successful Sunday is to surround yourself with pleasant things and people. this is why I do not understand the Italian custom of the Sunday lunch with the in-laws, thats not always pleasant. In any case, on Sunday you need coffee or tea, some kind of food you don't normally eat during the week.

Music is mandatory for me not loud music, just a little background noise. A book, A game, A hobby, Nothing. I believe Sunday is the day you're supposed to do the things you never get to do, and I don't mean laundry, thats for Saturday. Personally I suggest not watching tv and although I am writing in this blog and you are reading it, I suggest less time on the internet too. I cannot do much about the weather but if its sunny go outside or at least sit by a window. If its cloudy and icky, cuddle up in a corner somewhere.

People who have children may find some if not all of this impossible. When I was little my mother said Sundays were supposed to be days of peace and if I did anything that wasn't peaceful she made me clean, garage, get the point. It worked.
The most important tip for truly enjoying your Sunday no matter whatever else you do or not..

Enjoy your Sunday.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

How much do you actually need?

I can never find the right font to accompany my mood.
Somewhere , someone is thinking about something much more serious than fonts.
I don't like talking about money. I don't like thinking about money.
Being the "starving artist" that I am, (figuratively not literally), I don't think about money.
Because there isn't much of it for me to think about. You can laugh, I do.
Money makes you feel bad when you think about "stuff" that you want to buy.
Money makes you sad when you think about the lack of it.
Money makes you angry when you look at the bills.
Money is overwhelming when you look out at your future
And have no idea where more of it is going to come from.
Know what I do?
I think about fonts.
I think about my favoritest things and
How none of them could actually be bought.
Sure, I like stuff, I want stuff.
Do I need stuff?
Hah. There's a looong list.
I need more patience.
I need more sunshine.
I need magical powers.
I could go on but the list will only become more ridiculous.
You really have to learn to seperate the wants and the needs.
You have to get to the root of all your desires.
I am not syaing deny yourself the things you want.
I am saying that alot of the worry and the stress and the issues with money.
Can be erased simply by a little shift in perception.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Four Words

And you really have to read in between the line or you're just not going to feel it.
They are four words from a song but its not about the song. The song will not do anything you won't allow it to. You have to be in the right frame of mind to get it.

How many days do we wake up and no amount of sun or song will fix us? I can't do anytihng about that. It happens to me too but I dive into my head like a ninja and just karate the shit out of all the negative, self-defeating crap I find. Sometimes this takes hours, coffee usually helps. Its because I don't want to give up. I decided that long ago, the only way to truly give up is to kill yourself and I had an uncle that did that and it just wasn't a good look. So if you're here then you can't give up. You just can't. You can walk around all mopey and angsty but that just drags out the pain. Who the hell wants to drag out the pain?

You can turn to drugs an alcohol or eating disorders you can be mean you can stop loving yourself but thats not giving up., all of that is just buying 10000 egyptian thread counted sheets for the bed to make the pain comfortable. Kick the pain out of your bed. Look in the mirror and smile about something, anything, even if you're faking it. When you finally realize that you can't give up you will also realize that you don't even want to. Thats when you're ready for the song, but remember, you have to read between the lines or you just won't get it.
download it:

I hope you dance...

I'm just saying

It's our own arrogance our love of being pretentious that nails us to the traps we set for ourselves and then trap ourselves in. We run far and fast and stop to point and yell for help when we could really just stop. It is so obvious. Our desire to be more than is actually our weakness. by more than I mean more than what we are. We are flesh and bones and blood and perfectly imperfect. But thats not enough for some. We have to live out real life soap operas that we write, direct, hell we pay for the advertising. I'm not judging I'm nudging.

I used to think that I was this feeble wounded oh so damaged thing with all these reasons i was that girl with the profund permanent look of someone dealng with an immense weight that no one understood. I called myself a loner, I isolated myself, I stopped loving myself but only noticed that no one loved me. I can barely type that without laughing. Angst is great if you're a teenager and you didn't make the fn football squad or whatever team. Angst in adults is just dumb. We are all the same. We do different things and we have different opinions and more stuff or less stuff, skinny, tall, fat, short, a variety of colors but what i'm saying is we're the same in that we're human. You can listen to whatever music you like dress in whatever color you feel, you can write poems about death but we're human. So unless you truly have super powers I beg of you for your own good. Get over yourself.
People with real problems should be offended by the amount of self-invented hysteria over bs..and by real problems I'll start with the basics:

Do you have food to eat? a roof over your head? a job? water? at least one friend? can you pay rent and or mortgage?
now on to the serious stuff.
are you suffering from a serious medical problem?
are you in a wheelchair?
can you see?
can you hear?
is your life in grave danger from any outside forces?
are your parents alive?
do you have at least one lving relative that loves you?
are you alive?

I could go on and on and on, but I won't. Life was never ever going to be all happy all the time but if you are causing all of your pain all on your own, well don't expect me to sit around and listen.

The thing about time

We know we have no control over it. can't stop it and can't predict when our time is up. so why is it that we use time to deny us the things we want, want to do, want see, want be, want to have, want to say. Why do we look at a calendar for our own approval ratings? You get to start over and you don't need a clock for that. If its 3am on a Thursday and you realized what it is you weren't getting why can't you start working on that at 3:01? you can. But get some sleep first because dusting off and getting on the horse, bike, skates...well you need energy for that. plus its too hard to get it right the first time anyway and every time you start over you're stronger because you have learned lessons and those are like armor.

You go on a diet and you do well for a week then on the 8th day you eat cheese puffs and all you can think about is how you shouldn't have eaten them and how you were doing so good..start the diet again after the cheese puffs but remember the next time don't count the days you did good or bad count how much better you feel about yourself because i'm sure a week on a diet is not cancelled out by one bag of cheese puffs.

I am not simplifying, i realize broken hearts and other things are harder to just start over but they're just harder. I want more people to feel good and I can't help but feel like if i spread the good stuff even if its just here then some of you will read somethign and smile and thats what i want more smiles, more laughter, hell more cheese puffs.

Pat yourselves on the back more often. we are so quick with the swift kicks in our own asses.
the tree in my garden that caused me months and months of endless leaf raking well its got tons of buds today and now the leaf raking means nothing nothing at all.
sometimes i just want to scream, the good kind though. yes, there is such a thing as a good scream.

Happy Snacks!!!

Happy Snacks!!!

Right Now

All I have to do is find get comfortable on the couch.

For You